Caffeinated Sugar Monkey

Sunday, December 17, 2006

My husband is gay.

Or at least he is going to be, according to this obviously well researched article:

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

As some of you may know, my husband Mr. Monkey is allergic to almost everything. His no-no list includes chocolate, milk, eggs, cheese (I could not live), nuts, fish, bananas and possibly avocados so he drinks a lot of soy milk...clearly he is a ticking gay time bomb.

I'm going to miss our loving heterosexual marriage. I am. I'm going to miss the loving heterosexual nookie a lot too. We'll have to stay married, of course. I love him far to much to consider leaving him just because the soy milk has turned him. I will learn to adjust to whatever form our new relationship takes. Maybe we'll take long walks and hold hands and talk about the crush that both of us have on George Clooney. That could be okay.

On a serious note though, can I just say that dumb ass articles like this make me so irritated to be a Christian. I am okay with my Jesus believing self but when I read nonsense like this written by people who are apparently ministers of some sort I just get so annoyed. I believe, truly, that there are many, many kind and rational and loving Christians out there. I am happy to be friends with quite a few, but sometimes it feels like the whack jobs and assholes and bigots who claim the mantle of Christianity are so much more out there the rest of us (those of us who don't think soy makes men have teenie weenies). Grr.