The Caffeinated Sugar Monkey's Guide to the World Cup
My husband, the delightful Mr. Monkey, loves sports. All sports. There is, to my knowledge, no sporting event that he won’t watch on TV (except maybe golf) so we are, of course, watching the World Cup as often as possible. I am quite happy to watch both because some of the commentators have Irish accents and because some of those soccer players have some, umm, delightfully sturdy thighs (not that I’m noticing at all. Nope. I never peek. Mr. Monkey’s legs are the only ones I’ve ever noticed). Also, I love to hear “GGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!” first thing in the morning.
So, while watching the first round of the World Cup, I have developed several strategies to help me determine which country to cheer for which allows me get more emotionally invested in a match between, for example, Iran and Mexico than I might normally be. Feel free to steal this cheering flow chart for your own use at home:
1. I will always root for the US if they are playing. This satisfies any patriotic urges I might have while also soothes the part of me that roots for the underdog. I know we are officially ranked 5th but after the trouncing on Monday I think we are safely back in underdog territory.
2. I will always pick the Netherlands. I have to have some love for the motherland and I really like all the Dutch last names. In the event of a US vs. Netherlands match, I will hope for a tie.
3. In any game between an African country and a non-African country, I will choose the African country. My first trip overseas was to Ghana and I loved my time there. I know every country is different and blah, blah, blah but I liked Ghana, so I like Africa. Also, the whole underdog thing usually works for me here.
4. In a match between a Latin American country and a team that isn’t US, Dutch or African, I’ll root for the Latin American country. Unless it is Brazil. I think they are cocky and deserve a loss.
5. In a match between two European countries (not including the Netherlands) I’ll root for which ever one seems closest to the Netherlands. Except Germany. A good Dutch girl doesn’t cheer for Germany.
6. Korea. Sigh. I’m not totally sure what to do with Korea. I guess I’d cheer for them in the event that they were playing a team that isn’t US, Dutch, European, African or Latin American (so, basically if they play Iran or Germany) but I don’t really want them to win. When I lived in Korea I heard endlessly about the innate Korean superiority when it comes to all athletic endeavors, so that got pretty tiring. On the other hand, I do have a “Be the Reds!” Korean soccer t-shirt I could wear in the event of a Korean win. I do want them to beat Japan.
7. I don’t care about Australia one way or the other.
I think that covers all my cheering needs. So, cheer with me now: Go Team US/Netherlands/Ghana/Togo/Ivory Coast/Angola/Tunisia/Mexico/Costa Rica/Ecuador/ Paraguay/or Argentina!
So, while watching the first round of the World Cup, I have developed several strategies to help me determine which country to cheer for which allows me get more emotionally invested in a match between, for example, Iran and Mexico than I might normally be. Feel free to steal this cheering flow chart for your own use at home:
1. I will always root for the US if they are playing. This satisfies any patriotic urges I might have while also soothes the part of me that roots for the underdog. I know we are officially ranked 5th but after the trouncing on Monday I think we are safely back in underdog territory.
2. I will always pick the Netherlands. I have to have some love for the motherland and I really like all the Dutch last names. In the event of a US vs. Netherlands match, I will hope for a tie.
3. In any game between an African country and a non-African country, I will choose the African country. My first trip overseas was to Ghana and I loved my time there. I know every country is different and blah, blah, blah but I liked Ghana, so I like Africa. Also, the whole underdog thing usually works for me here.
4. In a match between a Latin American country and a team that isn’t US, Dutch or African, I’ll root for the Latin American country. Unless it is Brazil. I think they are cocky and deserve a loss.
5. In a match between two European countries (not including the Netherlands) I’ll root for which ever one seems closest to the Netherlands. Except Germany. A good Dutch girl doesn’t cheer for Germany.
6. Korea. Sigh. I’m not totally sure what to do with Korea. I guess I’d cheer for them in the event that they were playing a team that isn’t US, Dutch, European, African or Latin American (so, basically if they play Iran or Germany) but I don’t really want them to win. When I lived in Korea I heard endlessly about the innate Korean superiority when it comes to all athletic endeavors, so that got pretty tiring. On the other hand, I do have a “Be the Reds!” Korean soccer t-shirt I could wear in the event of a Korean win. I do want them to beat Japan.
7. I don’t care about Australia one way or the other.
I think that covers all my cheering needs. So, cheer with me now: Go Team US/Netherlands/Ghana/Togo/Ivory Coast/Angola/Tunisia/Mexico/Costa Rica/Ecuador/ Paraguay/or Argentina!
posted by Mrs.Robinson at
11:24 AM
2 Comments:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the elaborate cheering guide. I think you may have just saved my marriage, as my husband asked me to clear out the Tivo so we (meaning he) would not have to miss out on any of the action. All year round, but especially now, consider myself somewhat of a sports widow. So my theory is similar to yours "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I am now an avid Cowboys and Mavericks fan, and I know more than I care to about the Rangers, the Stars and soccer teams around the world. I thank you for your excellent research on this subject, as it saves me time and energy. And although I've never been to Ghana, Korea or the Netherlands, I feel fairly comfortable adopting your positions-it'll save me precious time. So in closing, I'll say "GO MAVS!!"
By
Sars, at 1:23 PM
Wendy-
Sarah and I are eating pie right now in your honor. The pie has now been renamed from Grand Canyon Pie (we don't know why either) to "Sweet Fancy Moses Pie." We are also watching Brazil v. Croatia and of course rooting for Croatia because we know how to follow directions.
I find it very hard to follow sports if I am not A) emtionally involved or B) highly attracted to one or more of the players. So your guideline helps. But you know what would really help? A list of World Cup Hotties to watch out for (not that you would notice or anything- it's a service for your poor single friends).
I was in Europe during the last world cup which was really fun because everyone was CRAZY. Drunk hooligans roamed the streets in packs draped in flags and singing what I can only assume to be their National Anthem. Every shop was either closed during the games or the workers were all watching the games and looked quite resentful when you walked in. The downside was that I couldn't understand a word of any of the games on TV. As I am sports challenged as it is, it was impossible for me to understand/enjoy just watching without the benefit of the commentators telling me what is what. So now safely in the US I understand, but it lacks the same atmosphere. I am going to ask Sarah to get drunk now and pull that Stars and Stripes t-shirt out of the closet.
I miss you too!
By
kel, at 1:35 PM
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