Word Play
Okay, I have a new mini-obsession that I am totally cracking myself up with…Tom Swifties. We had to come up with a bunch of these during my writing class last week and now I can’t stop myself from trying to think of more. For those of you who haven’t heard of them, a Tom Swiftie is a type of word play where an adverb is used in a speaker attribution in a way that is both proper and punning. Here is a pretty standard example:
“I ate a hot dog today,” Tom said frankly.
A “good” Tom Swiftie should make you laugh and/or groan. Here are some of my personal favorites:
“I need some Viagra,” Tom said limply
“Don’t call me Howard,” he said sternly
“I bought a new thong,” she said cheekily
“Please fill it in,” he said blankly
“It can’t be fixed,” Tom said brokenly
“Are you a diabetic?” she asked sweetly
“The doctor said I need a bypass,” he said heartily
“Will you marry me?” he asked engagingly
“I’m a lumberjack,” he said woodenly
“I dropped the toothpaste,” Tom said, crestfallen
“I think it might be radioactive,” Tom said glowingly
I know some you out there are word nerds too…so…contest time! Submit your best Tom Swifties and I will choose the best one and write a poem of praise about the winner. A real, honest to goodness poem (rhyming and everything) posted forever on this here blog. Post early, post often!
“I ate a hot dog today,” Tom said frankly.
A “good” Tom Swiftie should make you laugh and/or groan. Here are some of my personal favorites:
“I need some Viagra,” Tom said limply
“Don’t call me Howard,” he said sternly
“I bought a new thong,” she said cheekily
“Please fill it in,” he said blankly
“It can’t be fixed,” Tom said brokenly
“Are you a diabetic?” she asked sweetly
“The doctor said I need a bypass,” he said heartily
“Will you marry me?” he asked engagingly
“I’m a lumberjack,” he said woodenly
“I dropped the toothpaste,” Tom said, crestfallen
“I think it might be radioactive,” Tom said glowingly
I know some you out there are word nerds too…so…contest time! Submit your best Tom Swifties and I will choose the best one and write a poem of praise about the winner. A real, honest to goodness poem (rhyming and everything) posted forever on this here blog. Post early, post often!
posted by Mrs.Robinson at
1:20 PM
4 Comments:
"How did you do on the SAT?" he asked testily.
"I need more oxygen," he said airily.
"They're feathers," he said softly.
"I quit," he said resignedly.
"I'm going to buy a boat," he said lovingly.
"I'm gaining weight," he said expansively.
"It's not lamb," he said sheepishly.
"It's a Rolex," he said watchfully.
"It's pronounced Vonnegut," he said curtly.
"Just call me Wes," he said cravenly.
"I can't walk," he said limply.
"I'm not angry anymore," he said outrageously.
By
kel, at 8:05 AM
Hee! Good job Kelly!
By
Mrs.Robinson, at 1:20 PM
Show off.
By
Jo, at 1:17 AM
Can't even compete with those, Kel. It must be grad school! Here are a few of my feeble attempts.
"Open a gosh darn window," he said hotly.
"Did you study?" he asked quizzically.
"I'm doing Weight Watchers," she said lightly.
"This fondue is to die for," she said cheesily.
OK, so I'm not nearly as clever as certain other people, but I have compensating qualities! (I'm not sure what they are, but I do, I swear.)
By
Sars, at 9:41 AM
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