Dinner time: Act I

The setting: It is early evening in a living room in a suburban home. A woman sits alone, reading a magazine. Suddenly, a noise breaks the silence.

The stomach: "Um, just a quick heads up, I'm pretty empty here"

The woman doesn't look up. All she hears is a soft growl. She turns the page in her magazine, desperate to know if there really is a cure for cellulite. Not that she has that. She totally doesn't have that.

Stomach, louder this time: "Seriously. I'm really empty here and I have been for like days now. I'm getting tired of the water and Gatorade. I want some real food. And also- GROWL"

The woman pats her belly gently.

The brain: "Nope, we're not hungry, nope. We don't like food anymore."

Stomach: "You don't really believe that. You want mashed potatoes with real butter. And some ranch dressing. Yeah, mix in that ranch. Mix that right in."

Brain: "Mmm, mashed tatos. Mmm."

The woman rises from her chair and goes into the kitchen. Mashed potatoes are made.

Stomach, in sing-song fashion: "Taters, taters, taters. Warm yummy taters. Eat em up and send em down. Taters, taters, taters..."

The woman raises the spoon to her lips. She hesitates for a moment...

Brain: "Eat it! Eat it now!"

The woman takes a bite. A new character enters the scene.

The throat: "AAARGH! What the holy hell? What are you trying to do to me?"

Stomach: "Shut up throat! I am sick of your crying. It has been almost a week since she feed me right."

Brain, in a mild panic: "Um, keep eating. No, no stop eating. I don't know, I don't know"

The woman takes another bite.

Throat: "Arrgh. Stop. Just stop"

Stomach: "Eat it, eat it now"

Brain, increasingly confused: "Hungry but painful. Hurts but tastes good. I don't know, I don't know"

Somewhere off stage we hear the menacing cackle of the menacing antagonist, Strep T. Hroat. The woman pauses and slowly, slowly takes another small bite.

Throat: "Bitch you crazy"

The woman puts down the bowl, depressed. Strep T. Hroat laughs.

The curtain closes.