Happy Mothers Day?
I have a wee confession to make: I kind of hate mother's day.
When I was younger I really hated mother's day, a fact that is largely related to the fact that I have a difficult mother. I resented having to buy a card or a gift though I bought one every year because it was easier to shell out the $1.99 for a card than to deal with my mother's anger/hurt feelings if I didn't acknowledge the day. Buying a card was always an exercise in frustration. I didn't want to buy anything that implied that she was, oh I don't know, a good mother or something. I usually ended up getting something along the lines of "Oh mom, there is no one quite like you", because, if nothing else, that was true. There is no one quite like my mother. I consider this a good thing.
As I've gotten older and have lived outside of my parent's home for over a decade I'm not as angry at my mom as I used to be so the mother's day thing isn't as angsty on that end as it used to be. Now my angst is more directed at my current situation. As a step-mom, I just don't know where I fit. I don't know if I think I should expect a card or something from Mr. Monkey or the boys. I'm not their mom, that much is clear, but I like to think that I am more than just their dad's wife. Sometimes I feel very removed from the real experience of being a parent.Sometimes when people ask me if I have children I don't quite know what to say. Yes, kind of?
I feel very much like a wife (that is a good thing indeed) but sometimes I wonder if this is what being a step-parent is supposed to feel like. I don't have much of a frame of reference for this and, after nearly two years of being married, it is the part that I worry about most.
When I was younger I really hated mother's day, a fact that is largely related to the fact that I have a difficult mother. I resented having to buy a card or a gift though I bought one every year because it was easier to shell out the $1.99 for a card than to deal with my mother's anger/hurt feelings if I didn't acknowledge the day. Buying a card was always an exercise in frustration. I didn't want to buy anything that implied that she was, oh I don't know, a good mother or something. I usually ended up getting something along the lines of "Oh mom, there is no one quite like you", because, if nothing else, that was true. There is no one quite like my mother. I consider this a good thing.
As I've gotten older and have lived outside of my parent's home for over a decade I'm not as angry at my mom as I used to be so the mother's day thing isn't as angsty on that end as it used to be. Now my angst is more directed at my current situation. As a step-mom, I just don't know where I fit. I don't know if I think I should expect a card or something from Mr. Monkey or the boys. I'm not their mom, that much is clear, but I like to think that I am more than just their dad's wife. Sometimes I feel very removed from the real experience of being a parent.Sometimes when people ask me if I have children I don't quite know what to say. Yes, kind of?
I feel very much like a wife (that is a good thing indeed) but sometimes I wonder if this is what being a step-parent is supposed to feel like. I don't have much of a frame of reference for this and, after nearly two years of being married, it is the part that I worry about most.
posted by Mrs.Robinson at
4:50 PM
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